It's a Secret, Shhh!

Buckle up. This may be a long post. Somehow I neglected to post about the 4th of July this year! We enjoyed uncle/cousin time in the pool around mid-day on the 4th. Plus, we also had a lovely time with family & friends in the evening (it poured rain right around dinner time!) But with rain, inevitably comes a beautiful promise. Actually, I hung out with my brothers and their families while the boys spent time with their friend a few blocks away. I know they blew up a lot of fireworks (and I observed many explosions at my brother's house.) 

We each got some new toys in July. I finally have a fitness watch, compatible with my phone, to count my steps and alert me if I'm getting a text/phone call. It's not an Apple watch, but only cost me a about $35 once I paired that with an Amazon gift card from my birthday. It comes with a variety of interesting watch face designs that I've played with. I love it! Keaton bought himself an electric guitar and is learning to play that. Cole bought an inflatable raft and some Star Wars collectibles. I think I was ruined as a child dusting every week around my mother's collectibles such that I did not want to collect anything as an adult. Thus, I think Cole is the opposite, and cherishes his collections: Legos, stuffed animals, Star Wars figurines, etc. 

I read the most interesting book in July. Recently I'd read a fiction book where the main characters end up in Italy tracking down some stolen art. And that got me on an Italy kick. I started day-dreaming about traveling to Italy someday. So I went to the library and picked up several books on Italy. One was a travel guide, one was a geological guide to Rome, and the 3rd was Two Nuts in Italy by Sue Ellen Haning. 

This is a non-fiction travelogue of a 50-something mom who traveled to Italy with 2 of her adult children. Her daughter had just turned 21 and wanted to go to Italy, so the mom (Sue Ellen) said she would go too. Her 24 year old son also tagged along for awhile, then split off and went to Paris, and eventually came back to Italy. At one point, mom and daughter also split up as mom went to Switzerland and spent a couple of weeks there. Yeah, yeah, just a travel memoir, right? NOT AT ALL! This is the interesting part. Well, two things: 1) This lady Sue Ellen Haning happens to be from my hometown, where we are living now, and homeschooled her kids for a time. I did not know that when I grabbed the book from the library shelf. ha! and, 2) They went to Italy without cell phones, without credit cards and only a limited amount of cash. They did not have set places to stay. They would just end up at the house/apartment of generous locals who, obviously thought they were nutty, seemed impressed by their bravery enough to help them out. I think it also helped that her 21 year old daughter was an attractive, extroverted, red head. They each carried all of their belongings in giant backpacks for the 3 months they traveled the country. Nuts. For sure. Very zany read.

Here's one more thing I wanted to share about Sue Ellen Haning. No matter where they went, what predicament they ended up in, what joy or disappointment they experienced, she carried this quote on a 3x5 index card to remind her who was really in charge.

CTS (changing the subject, kinda, but not completely). This blog post is titled "It's a Secret, Shhh!" so I want to get on with that story. The last week of July I went to California to spend time with my in-laws. I planned to stay a week or two. My mother-in-law, broke her wrist really good (or really badly?) about a month prior, so I figured since I can really work from anywhere I would go and check on them and see if I could help with anything. The first day my sister-in-law picked me up from the airport and spent the day with us. A couple of days later, Mom/Carolyn and I boxed up unwanted books and games to give away. One day I drove Mom to a doctor's appointment. One day I drove Mom to the coast. Okay, yeah, mostly it was I who wanted to see the ocean because it's been awhile! But generally speaking, my in-laws and I just spent a lot of time together chatting, watching TV and sharing meals together. I took out the trash, fed the hummingbirds, walked the orchards, and (drum roll) shopped for a 2nd vehicle.

I tried to walk the orchards every morning BEFORE it got over 100 degrees!

some items for donation

at our favorite beach

Had to stop at In-N-Out

A Tesla Farm behind In-N-Out

Widely known to those on the Neufeld side of the family, my father-in-law Roger is a car hunting expert. According to him, he has made some mistakes over the years. But the way I see it, he's purchased and sold so many vehicles that his track record is really pretty solid. He had in mind a Ford Escape for the boys and had offered to let me drive it, check it out, and then take it back to Texas if it suited our needs. I never told the boys about this when I flew to California. I had only purchased one-way airfare, so I really hoped the car thing would work out. Turned out to be a little more complicated. There was some soul wrestling, prayer, and hard decision-making. I decided the Escape was not the car I needed to take back. I was so sad. I really wanted that car to be it! But I continued to pray something would work out. 

NO, not the one

If you ever doubt the Lord will provide, I hope this story encourages you...please re-read the above quote that Sue Ellen Haning carried around with her through Italy...!!

When I told him the Escape was not going to work, Roger offered his own pickup truck. And I drove that around a few times too. But lo and behold, he also had another car to choose from, a little Mazda CX7. After getting the seat set up so I didn't hit my head on the ceiling, the Mazda seemed the better choice. It had also driven to Oregon and back, so I felt safer taking it on a long trip. In my mind, if Keaton was too tall to drive this Mazda, he could use our other car for his weekly commute to work and school and I would drive the Mazda. We agreed on a price and Roger transferred the title to me. After he had the tires checked and added some gifts for the boys (golf clubs, binoculars, a portable air cooler, and various awards their dad had won over the years) I set out for home. After a minor hiccup in Albuquerque (the car was broken into that night at the hotel, binoculars and air cooler stolen-- though it is possible I did not lock the doors because no windows were broken??) I made it home and texted Keaton and Cole to come outside to help with my bags. They assumed I had someone else pick me up at the airport. HERE IS THE VIDEO LINK to see their genuine surprise. It is a HUGE blessing. And Keaton does fit. He loves the car. Drove it to work the next day. THANK you Jesus. THANK you Roger & Carolyn. THANK you boys for holding down the fort, feeding the pets, washing the dishes, keeping the house clean, and tending to the pool chemistry. 

YES, this is it!

One final photo. My new favorite screen saver from my friend Steve. The verse speaks for itself.

Summer's Here

Summer is in bloom around our neighborhood. We have 3 huge crepe myrtles exploding in color next to our garage, some lovely purple flowering trees along the backyard fence, plus some daisies (my personal favorite) and lantana. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of weeds. I worked off and one day last week but only made a little progress. I pulled out grass until my hands were sore. C'est la vie.

OUR DESERT JUNGLE "BEFORE"

AFTER AN HOUR (I started at the top of this photo)

A LITTLE MORE PROGRESS

 

And here's the newest adult in the house. Y'all have to hear his Donald J. Trump impressions. They are "tremendous." I tried to take some video to share, but the best impressions seem to come on the fly and the video I took felt too scripted. Reminds me of his silly Dad for sure. ANYway, Cole turned 18 this week. We had an impromptu dinner at Cheesecake Factory with his friend Chris and some of our family. I also had a birthday this last week. I appreciate all the well-wishing cards, texts & calls-- very sweet. 

 

Obviously, it is hot here. It's kinda like walking outside straight into a blower dryer. Super thankful for our pool! This is our new "pool cover". It definitely helps keep debris out of the pool (there are lots of leaves and lots of wind) and it warms the water without the heater. We have also enjoyed the new cover roller which Cole assembled for me this month. Cole and I have taken over the pool cleaning and chemistry balancing as well. It is not as complicated as I thought it would be. But also it takes consistent effort. We are working together and figuring it out. I've probably mentioned this before, but my biggest fear is the mechanical stuff related to the pump. Believe me, I've watched a lot of YouTube in recent weeks. 

This week Cole and I were reminiscing, something we often do, about his craft projects over the years. He used to create all manner of things from cardboard SEE POST ON CRAFTY COLE. He made a log cabin from stir sticks SEE POST ON LOG CABIN. Cole is also the king of Gingerbread houses. The boys both had a short stint creating puppets. And don't get me started on the Legos. Now he and his friend Chris are creating a Stormtrooper costume. I commented how fun his childhood has been. And a lot of the fun was inspired by our friend Lisa A. She really went out of her way to give them the best childhood experiences. If the boys mentioned they like Legos -- BAM! -- Lisa redecorated their room with a Lego theme. When the boys mentioned they were working on puppets and needed help with the sewing and -- KABLING! -- Lisa was there to help them work on Kermit and Frank. The boys mentioned they wanted a puppy and -- WHOOSH! -- Lisa gave us a dog. Of course, who are we kidding? The dog definitely favors my bed. Now these boys are "men" but their happy childhoods are due in large part to our wonderful friends and family who have taught them things, encouraged their creativity, and included us on so many hiking, camping, kayaking, missions, and vacation adventures. This blog bears witness to all of that. THANK you all!! 

One of my Bible study leaders here, also once upon a time widowed with young children, sent me a devotional that she came across recently which explained to a "T" the plight of single moms in a church setting. No longer part of a traditional family, we often feel less-than or at the very least, uncomfortable. There is a verse about God setting the lonely in families. There were definitely times I've felt weird or been reminded how much I missed being part of a husband/wife team. But for the most part, our church family and our extended blood family have done an excellent job of including us and taking away the sting of lonely. I'm not saying it is all rainbows and roses but we've had it pretty good. Today Keaton and I went to see "Inside Out 2" and I was reminded that JOY doesn't have be crowded out by ANXIETY as we get older, but it does take concerted effort to accept things that are out of our control -- with joy. 

Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families, he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

One more graduate

Cole - May 2024

Well, my days as a homeschooling mom are coming to an end. Mr. C is super close to finishing his senior year. We recently had the Senior Sunday celebration at our church. So it definitely feels like we are winding down on the high school era. Keaton will be attending college in the fall. Cole is still unsure of his future plans. He will take the next year to work and try to hone in on something. 

Cole's pretty much dead center on stage

I really feel like we are in a sweet spot in our parent/child relationship(s). I know I often complain when they come in my room late at night and want to talk when I'm totally ready to go to sleep. But it's that sweet space where we can all discuss things as adults. We talk about faith. Politics. Culture. And I'm watching them mature into a place where it's not so much me telling them what to do, but me asking if they'll help me accomplish this or that. Weird. It's changing. But overall, in a good way.

Here's some other things we did in the last month....

Keaton and I did a quick explore at the "2nd largest canyon in the country". Palo Duro Canyon is about 2 hours from us. Lots of hiking trails there, which we did not partake of this time, but at least Keaton can say he's been there. (Cole stayed home.) Hiking here, is, well, hot. There is literally no shade. We basically drove through the canyon on a loop trail for cars (with the A/C on) and got out occasionally to take a few pictures. Then we drove to Amarillo to see their zoo. Took us less than an hour to walk through. Not much of a zoo, but we can officially check this off our list. 

We also reorganized the garage. Not exciting for you, maybe, but for us, it's so much better! It all started when Cole and I were looking for a box (from the move 2 years ago) that had my wedding dress, Eric's suit from the wedding, and Eric's leather jacket. It wasn't in the house. And we had looked through the garage more than once and still couldn't find it! But after we started clearing things away, there.it.was. And Cole REALLY loves the suit. Aldan wore that suit too for some occasion at church when he was in high school. It has seen better days for sure.

When we moved in, the shelves were quickly set up in the garage and things were kinda dumped on them just so we could unload quickly. Within a few weeks, after moving some things around, I was able to get my car in the garage, but the other half of the garage was never really organized. Cole was determined to get this done! And every day he walks through the garage now, he says, "I love our garage now." Me too, Buddy. Me too.

you gotta make a mess to get organized!

click here for a VIDEO of our special find

DONE!

A couple of other tidbits: 

Keaton got all 4 of his wisdom teeth removed. OUCH. 

It hailed. But no tornados here.

 

It's warm enough to swim!

Oh, and I've got a praise report!  - -  through a lady I met in Bible study, Cole made a new friend, Chris. He likes Star Wars and all things movies, just like Cole and Keaton do. He's also creative in that he likes to make costumes for cosplay. Cole had started making a Stormtrooper costume a few years ago, and Chris has given him lots of tips and ideas to help finish this out. Chris is also originally from the PacNW, so the 3 of them have really hit it off. Looking forward to seeing how this progresses. He came over to swim last weekend. Great kid. Thank you Lord, for one friend.

In general, you'll find me complaining about the scenery here, mostly due to lack of trees. And yeah, for sure I miss the ocean. But there ARE lots of what they call "playa lakes". Kind of an ironic term (if you speak Spanish) but that is what they call them. I recently found this one and it seemed so serene. I did see several pretty large turtles and some ducks. We don't swim in these lakes, but the wildlife seem to find refuge there.

So all in all, this last month we have basically been living life. A milestone is coming in that Cole is almost done with high school. My work is going fine. We are trying to serve others. We are learning to maintain our pool. I recently wrapped up a Bible study "Me, Myself, and Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild. The theme is just how to get a handle on our thoughts and how to remake and relabel them in positive ways. It's really amazing how we can trip ourselves up with "stinkin' thinkin". If you have this issue at times, and I do, here's a tip I shared with a friend today from that Bible study: 

When you have that icky feeling of despair or depression, ask yourself WHY am I feeling this way? Check the 4 legs of your "table" and assess each for ways you can improve that mood. Ultimately, we have HOPE in Jesus. We just need to remind ourselves of this.

1) Mental Leg - are you stimulating your brain with worthwhile things?

2) Physical Leg - are you moving and resting in equal balance?

3) Emotional Leg - every "feeling" is not a fact!

4) Spiritual Leg - most important leg, needs daily attention

I had several people contact me after April's blogpost and let me know they are praying for us. THANK you SO much. I may stress and struggle over the day-to-day stuff at times, but I know that God hears those prayers! The thing I need to tackle next is finding a decent 2nd vehicle. Keaton is working 4-5 days/week and will be driving back/forth to school in the Fall. I WANT one of those 4-door Jeep Wranglers. haha! But what we NEED is something reliable (other than my car that has 186K miles on it.) Keep that in your prayers.

Psalm 42:5 "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

Blackout and Build Out

This week we enjoyed a front row seat to the solar eclipse. It did get a bit dark, but not pitch black (like this pic) as we are slightly outside the path for best viewing. Still, we did watch with our special glasses. Cole took some pictures. He was home alone for most of it.... I'm sure you have all seen pictures and videos by now, so if this is not your cup of tea, feel free to scroll down for the Build Out info. 

WITHOUT the special glasses

Our pets seemed completely unfazed...

Brie chillaxing

Perdy hunting bees

Sadly, Keaton and I missed the full eclipse as he had a dentist appointment. (We are planning his wisdom teeth extraction...) Bummer for us. We got a cool x-ray of his teeth instead. 

Later in the week, Cole and I served at a Habitat for Humanity build. Our church was one of the sponsors for this build. We've never done one of these before. Great experience! The Executive Director for Habitat here was on site checking in volunteers. I kept thinking, "Hmm. She looks VERY familiar..." So I asked, "What is your maiden name?" and then it popped into my head and we both said her maiden name at the same time. She was laughing, and said, "How do I know you?" Turns out she is a couple of years older than me, but we were at the same high school for one year together. I know I had a class with her, but I can't recall which one. Maybe it will come to me. That was a lonnnnnng time ago. haha! 

Cole was pretty impressed. And he finds it comical on 2 levels: 1) That everywhere we go, there is someone I recognize. Thing is I've lived in this town for more than half my life. He just knows about the years I lived in WA, and 2) As the Executive Director continued to chat with me over the course of the afternoon, she told me she has her own a consulting firm and she ended up asking me for my contact information as she plans to refer a bookkeeping client to me. Cole said, "So interesting! THAT's how you get new clients from random people." Networking.

I did not take a photo of this, but at the very beginning of our time on the job site, a lady handed us each a huge permanent marker. "For writing notes on the walls inside," she said. We walked into the roughed out interior of this house and saw scriptures and blessings all over the place. On the studs. On the plywood. All of those words, sweetly given by volunteers, will be holding up this home forevermore. Cole and I each picked a scripture and wrote it in. 

Our actual contribution was painting the soffits. Well, the 1st coat, anyway. They will do another coat. Cole was tall enough to reach the soffits WITHOUT a ladder. I had to use a stepstool. 

So here's a sweet story of how we came into this scene. You have to know, I pray for my boys (daily) that they will grow up to be productive members of society. That I have not screwed them up too badly homeschooling them, trying hard (as a single woman) to teach them to be decent, Christ-loving men, then moving 2000 miles from their comfort zone in their high school years, and every other small transgression in parenting that I regret and recall vividly (like almost losing them at a hotel when they were small!) I just have to say: God does answer prayer. In His way. In His time. 

Cole came to me one day last week with furrowed brow. When I asked what was wrong, he said he felt like he wasn't doing enough to spread the Gospel. That if he didn't overtly try to reach out to non-churched people that he might not get into heaven. Whoa! He was feeling convicted. I told him I felt the same way at his age. Seriously, I did. But I've come to realize that it's not about what you DO, it's about GRACE. (Thank goodness!) Still, that conviction he feels to serve others or help others see Jesus, that is legit. I explained there are lots of ways to reach others for Jesus. Like how we volunteer our time taking care of the elderly couple's lawn each week. This frees them up to do their mission work in Africa. We are one cog in the missions wheel. There are also numerous ways we can serve others in this town and I suggested he look into this service project sponsored by our church. I explained, promised actually, that once you find a way to serve, that angst you feel *the conviction* will be replaced with peace. I know this is true! Several of my adult friends and I learned this when we served in Mexico or with the Love Your Neighbor group we started at our old church. It just strengthens your faith. Later that day, he came to me and said he signed up for the Habitat build. So I signed up too. We only stayed a few hours, but it was really amazing to share this experience with him and I think we'll probably do it again.

turkey vulture in our neighborhood

I'm learning in my new Bible study group that I seriously need to take every thought captive. All of that negative self-talk I do, it really hurts God. I do not want to grieve Him. God made me a wondrous creation. He loves me and will take care of me (and my children).

Matthew 6:26-30 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you--you of little faith?"